My hidden struggle

Gosh, I was really hoping to keep this blog as a freshy, friendly, fun, girly, and glittery blog. I wanted to showcase my passion and talents of beauty, fashion, recipes, etc but for one reason or another it has turned into something much different. I am a Christian. I am not perfect but I love the Lord and God is perfecting me little by little. God revealed some changes that I need to make and well I was hoping to share in case you too ever struggle with the sin of coveting your neighbor. To covet means to desire or have a need for what others have. Call it jealousy or envy. In my selfish and self-entitled ways I sometimes see what others have and wonder why I too don't have those things. I work for a fortune 500 company and have been here 11 years. I have been at the bottom of the barrel my entire time. I was faced with an evil and sociopathic boss for those years. God answered my prayers and she is no longer in power. Many times while here I see people move up and make an excellent living. I mean, these people are buying houses, BMW's, boats, trips, etc and meanwhile I am here trying to not stress about how I am going to pay my daycare bill or rent. God miraculously provides every month but that is not to say that there is some worry sometimes. I want those things though and I think it is natural. I want to own the big house, I want that car for my husband, I want my kids in Christian private school, I want to go on that family vacation, I want, I want, I want. I feel like I have hit a wall and I need a breakthough! A big breakthrough for my family! So the other day I was making my Christmas list for my children. All of a sudden I was filled with worries. I thought, Oh dear, my kids are going to be jealous of eachother. No matter how hard I try whether it is getting them the same amount of presents or spending the same dollar amount they always are hurt or dissapointed because their sibling got what they rather have. Last year, I bought my daughter a Coach purse and my son a cheap tablet that I might add only lasted 2 weeks. My daughter was filled with envy and so sad that she did not get that tablet. I was crushed. As I was in the store picking out that Coach purse that I thought was perfect, I never once thought how unhappy she would be. I was crushed. So this year while making the list and reliving last year, God whispered that is how it is for him. When he blesses us with something yet WE in our flesh want MORE MORE MORE. Sometimes we need to take a step back and be thankful! All good things come with time. Sometimes we are not ready for things and sometimes what God has for us he has for no one else. We need to simply delight in the Lord. So my challenge is to replace my coveting thoughts with praises instead for what I do have! To God be the glory! Besitos, Lisa

10 year wedding anniversary!

My husband and I just celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. We have been together for 14 years total. I am 29 years old...you can do the math. Many people are shocked, surprised, and im sure pissed that they lost their bets against us. We have been through the mud, through the fire, through the green grassy fields, and through the rose gardens. Life is a journey and marriage is well...life. Your life shared and intertwined with another. We are one. Committed, strong, and well..in love. I have been asked what is the secret? Well, relax...it has been only 14 years. In the grand scheme of things we certainly have a LONG way to go. It is humbling to say the least and I am proud of us but I will be even more proud in 30 years from now when I am holding hands with my love bug. My husband and I had some hard times. Starting out our lives backwards and so young there have been times where we had no idea where our next meal would come, if we would have money for rent, or how we were going to buy a car. I specifically remember eating beans for a week straight! We had bean tostadas, bean enchiladas (yes, those exist), bean burritos, etc. We survived. By Gods grace, we have passed those times. The other trying time was back in January of 2006. It had been four months since we purchased our new home. I was 21 and my husband was 25. We had our 5 year old daughter and newborn son. I had my nice black Acura Mdx, great job, money in the bank...life was well... perfect. The funny thing about life is that you never know what will hit you and when it will hit you. I was literally the happiest and most content person at the time. All of a sudden BAM my husband loses his job. We have a 2100 house payment, $467 car payment, daycare, food, etc. How will we make it?! A few months later my husband finally found a job but it paid half of what he was previously making. We lost our car, our credit cards were maxed out, savings drained. We had nothing. To top it off, my husbands brother dies. Life was so dark in 2006. We eventually had to move out and rent out our home. We moved 80 miles away into my mother in laws "vacation" home. It was horrible. Waking up the kids at 3:30 AM to get them ready for a commute, having your home being lived in by someone else, living out of your suitcase. We stayed there for 6 months then moved in with my husbands aunt for another 6 months... we shared a bed with no box spring, no headboard, nowhere to place our clothes... I never want to relive those days and sometimes the spirit of fear gets me to believe that those experiences will always plague my life. We moved back into our home for about 18 months and then moved out and rented. We had to sell our home. We were upside down well over 200k. We had an adjustable rate interest only loan and could not afford the mortgage. It was hard then again it was easy. To be able to breath...let those materialistic things go and focus on my family, my marriage...life. Real life. My husband got another job making so much money but working for a lousy boss...it threatened our marriage, faith, my husbands relationship with God. That year we made $141,000 combined. Don't ask me where the money went. Your guess is as good as mine. My husband was out of a job again. He found another one but making about 70% of what he was making. We still survive. We make it through. I have 0.33 cents in my checking account but it is okay. I am learning that in order for God to trust us with a lot we must keep his trust with a little. We have a hard time saving but I know we are learning. I am excited for the future. Life is hard, marriage isn't always easy, kids are a lot of work and yet are the biggest blessings. Count your blessings, honor your husband, forgive your husband, spend time together, have date nights, have family nights, make time for YOURSELF! If we are not happy with ourselves, we cant make anyone else happy! Go get a pedicure, have a girls night, go to the movies alone, go to the gym, go shopping kid free! Get a massage. Don't neglect yourself because your family needs you and you need your sanity. Circumstances and situations change constantly but keep your heart open and guard it. Know that if you are in a rough patch of life that it will get better. Keep your faith, stay positive, nothing lasts forever except for love...true love within the spirit. That is the kind of love you need to keep forever. In law problems, financial problems, and lonliness have all threatened my marriage but we keep going, we fight, we love... we are in it together. Marriage is as hard as you make it. Cheers to love!

It's been a long time!

Somedays, I ask myself, "Lisa, why did you really start this blog"? I was really hoping to give advice, show my creative side, vent etc. I have realized that I am far too busy to update as much as I would like to. For that, I am dissapointed in myself. But never the less, let me update you all with my life. I am still breastfeeding! My little man is 10 months old tomorrow! Oh how time fly's! Somedays I wish I can just relive those first few newborn days but I love my little man's personality. He had 3 months full of ear infections, I know... you also probably heard that EBF babies don't get sick. Well, mine did! Three ear infections and life was miserable but more so for my little man. Antibiotics, pain, weight loss and a nasty yeast infection. Gabriel is still taking the bottle with the sitter but he still prefers the breast. If your baby is not taking a bottle then be patient. Give it time and do NOT stress about it. Your baby will not die. I have recently adopted a healthy lifestyle and when I say recently, I mean two days recent LOL. But I am so motivated and not to diet but to change my life!!! I am overweight. My BMI is like 4 pounds over but even at the heaviest to be in the normal range, does not look good on me. I dont feel right in my clothes and I dont like being naked with my husband! How said is that? I want to grow old with my husband. God has given me a precious gift of life and one body! It is a temple; not a trash can. I need to take care of this body from the inside out. I want to grow old with my husband, be healthy, happy, and feel good. Changing my life is the only way to get these things. I am starting to lift weights. I dont over do it because I haven't worked out in years but I will get there. So, what have I been eating? Well, last night for dinner we had baked cod, steamed green beans & carrots, plus quinoa. It was amazing! and yesterday I ate soooo much and was under my calorie goal!!! It is amazing how much of this good and clean foods you can eat. I couldn't believe it. For the last two days I have never felt this energetic, refreshed, and happy! Most of all, I am giving my baby the real nutrition that he needs. I was tired of fast food 3-4 times a week! It really takes it's toll. Now, my only challenge is getting my husband on board but I am praying for him. And if you feel unhappy with your health, DO something! The time is now. It is all in your mind...no more excuses. Just do it. PS: I bought some new drugstore products, mac products and some goodies from Sephora. That will be my next post! Besitos <3 Lisa

Major update

Wow, this blog has been less about beauty and more so about my little 6 month old man. Perhaps, I should change the title?

For all of you moms struggling with bottle feeding- do NOT give up. My little Gabriel is taking the bottle just fine. Although when I am around, he refuses. Sometimes he will get stubborn and not want to take it. But overall he is great at the bottle and has no confusion what so ever.

He is now eating solids at 6 months. He is having some issues as far as swallowing. The consistency of the food will take some time for him to get used to. So far he has had mango, bananas, apples, pears, carrots, and avocados.

He is rolling like a champ and for the most part can sit up although he has his balance checks and occasionally falls, he is overall doing very well.

We just started baby sign language and I am hoping to see results soon.

Other than that, I have been too busy to post! I am back in school (Working on BS) and my son is in little league so with full time work, baby, school, and sports I just have NO time what so ever.

CoverGirl Lip Perfection Lipstick Review

Hi everyone! I am going to be showing four different colors of CoverGirl's Lip Perfection. I will start with the quality, price and packaging. The average price is around $7.00 for one lipstick but I purchased these for buy 1 get one 50% off. The packaging is simple and I love the color on the bottom. The price is good for the quality. The color is very pigmented and lasts a long time! The texture is creamy and a little satin. I will definitely buy more in the future. In fact, the texture reminds me of my MUFE lipstick (N34) but I think the pigment in the CG lipstick is better and it is half the price!

So, lets start with lipstick #1 300 "Flame" the color is a orange red but very subtle. I think the color is pretty but I do not think it goes well with my olive/tan skin tone.

the next color is #325 "Spellbound" I would call this a fuschia tone that is bright. I really love this one but I am a little insecure about wearing it. Just like I get scared to wear MAC candy yum yum, im scared to wear this one. :)

The next one is #330 "Divine" and this is a purple based color which reminds me of MAC Up the Amp and as you can see they are very similar but "Divine" has more of a pink tone to it. It's a very pretty color.

CoverGirl Divine

Mac Up The Amp

The final color is #400 "Temptress" this is your typical bright pink, almost like MAC Chatterbox. I like it but it is not for me.You know those pretty lipsticks where you say wow thats pretty but you try it on and it looks like a mess? Well, this is that color for me but it does not negate the fact that the color is absolutely gorgeous.

I truly cannot wait to get my hands on more of these. I am in love with these lipsticks. :)

The battle continues

I notice that this blog is quickly becoming about breastfeeding and it's struggles.

Well all the standoffs produced nothing except the one time he took 2 ounces from the bottle. It has been a week since I have been off of work and I wish I could tell you that it was easy but it is not. Arrangements for space at work was like pulling teeth and I had to figure it out on my own which I did.  My freezer is full of breastmilk that my son refuses. I am able to now have a 45 min lunch which is great because since the baby sitter is 5 min away I can nurse him on my lunch breaks and my MIL has agreed to bring him to me on my lunch breaks. Praise the Lord because now he is refusing the doppler all together! Last Friday my husband didn't work because of the rain and so my son stayed home with him and I did not come by to nurse him. I was really hoping that he would take the bottle but he refused everything and cried all day and slept so much. I am so exhausted. I get home and there are dirty dishes, floors, clothes, rooms but there is my precious baby boy just waiting for his mom to feed him and so there we go on our marathon nursing sessions.

I hate that I am starting to resent my choice in breastfeeding my son. Although I do love it,the stress of being at work has taken it's toll and i'm only in 1 week. When I went to pick him up from the baby sitter he was crying bloody murder and refused all attempts to feed him. Thank God I came at that time. Our next step is to purchase a doidy cup.

So what exactly is a doidy cup? It is this very strange looking cup that is popular in the UK. It is a big boy cup with no spout that is slanted. It is to help wean and babies as young as 3 months have had success. Since my boy is getting better at his motor skills I am hoping that he will do much better with this.

The bottle standoff...take 2 &3

Friday was our second consecutive attempt at the bottle standoff. Gabriel did not receive the breast for 8 hours. He refused all attempts that daddy made to feed him. I gave in after 8 hours and nursed him. Who knows if I did the right thing by giving it but I think 8-9 hours is far too long to go without food at his young age. Unfortunately, this has disrupted Gabriel's perfect sleeping schedule. Gabriel would go to bed from 10pm-12am. Last night he went to bed at 1am. He slept more than usual in the day from being so exhausted and hungry. My poor sweet baby boy. This situation is giving us a glimpse into his personality. He is very persistent, stubborn and does not give up.

Today (Saturday)was our third consecutive attempt. My mother in law suggested that she should facilitate the standoff at her home. I agreed, maybe a change of scenery would do him good. He was there for 5 hours and starving for 6 hours. He refused all attempts. I just threw my hands in the air, nursed him and we've come to the conclusion that Gabriel simply wants nothing to do with any bottle. He does not like imitations. He will wait knowing the security that at some point in time he will be reunited with him mom and will be fed. He is so sweet but I still wish he would take the bottle. It looks like the syringe is our only option. 

I really hoped and believed that this would all be sorted out by now but apparently my little boy is a rare breed. 

The Standoff

Today was our official "Standoff". In actuality, it was our second. Approximately 3 weeks ago I left our son, our sweet baby Gabriel with his dad. I initially left for 4 hours. Our son nurses every hour (I know, crazy!) so I know he was very hungry. He refused the bottle and after 4 hours I came home, nursed him then left again for nearly 3 hours, hoping he would take the bottle when I left the second time. Unfortunately, he did not. We have a seriously stubborn baby on our hands. He loves his mama, I don't blame him. :)

But in all seriousness, I am going back to work in 4 days!!! For everyone's best interest, this boy NEEDS to take a bottle. So today after much thought and reading other successful stories, I decided to do a "Standoff". This is our last resort, you can read what we have done in the last 5 weeks in a previous post ( http://polishedwithgrace.blogspot.com/2013/01/when-your-baby-refuses-bottlewhat-every.html)


The last time Gabriel was nursed was at 8:21 AM. I decided I would not give him the breast. I would pump and give him expressed milk. He fell asleep at his 8:21 feeding and woke up at 10:37 AM. He usually realizes he's hungry a couple minutes after waking up. When he gave me the signs, I offered the bottle. Gabe was royally pissed! He arched his back, cried, wailed, moved his hands and arms, gave the pout and moved his head. Finally I stopped trying. I didn't want to stress him out so I attempted to soothe him and he calmed down. Then I tried again and same thing. We repeated this cycle until he finally fell asleep, exhausted at 12:30.  I felt horrible, I knew that in an instant I could end his suffering. But I had to remain calm and strong.

I received a call from my husband that he would be coming home early. Hallelujah! The heavens had heard my cries.

Hubby came home around 1:30 and he tried, by this time Gabe was a little more than pissed. He fell asleep again...5 hours without eating didn't seem to faze him. Finally around 2:47 PM he drank 2 ounces! It came with lots of opposition. My husband had Gabriel suck on his finger then stuck the bottle in his mouth. Right before he finished the two ounces, he stopped, cried and was getting upset then cried to sleep.

Oh how heartbreaking this whole situation is! Gabriel woke up at 3:30 with another bottle waiting for him and he refused. He seemed even more upset! Oh good lord!
at 4:20 I left to pick up my older kids from school. We went to get gas and dinner. I came back home around 4:50pm and Gabe had still refused the bottle. We kept trying until 5:21 PM so in 9 whole hours, he only drank 2 oz with angst.

This standoff did not go as hoped. He nursed for 50 minutes after this, then 23 minutes then 10 minutes. He made up for what was lost. He usually nurses 5-10 minutes every hour.

I hate hate hate that we are even in this position. I just wish he could understand, perhaps he does but doesn't mind waiting for me. It looks like on my lunch breaks I will be nursing him. Im so worried for him. He really is a good baby. I can only continue to hope and pray he will take it...if not PLEASE dear lord let him continue to sleep through the night.


Tomorrow my husband will be doing another standoff with him. Hopefully it goes better.

Gabe exhausted :*(

To be continued....

CVS drugstore makeup haul

Hi everyone!
Last night I went out with my daughter and decided to get some goodies from CVS. I purchased some Loreal and Wet-N-Wild products. If you know anything about store brands, Wet-N-Wild is really old school and CHEAP! Fergie is now a spokeswoman and I was super excited to see her stuff but almost everything was sold out. I was bummed. I did manage to get two eye shadows. :) So here is the list of stuff and what I rate them on a scale of 1-5 stars


1. Loreal Nail Color in Butterfly Kisses #380:  The color is gorgeous. It is a pale pink/purple. I applied two coats but it could have used 3 instead. For this price of nearly 7 dollars, I would skip it. You can get the same quality for much cheaper. The color is a 5 but the quality is a 3 star .

2.Loreal  the one sweep sculpting brush dup in Nectar #825 : The colors on this are gorgeous and the blush/highlighter reminds me of MAC's Melba. Unfortunately, this has no pigment! It was chalky, dry and did not adhere at all. For the price of around $13, I felt a little ripped off. Do I really need to give this one star? Ugh.

3. Loreal Colour Riche Lipstick in Rose Tafetta #174 : This lipstick is very moisturizing, comes in a pretty case, the color is comparable to a mauve/rosy color but does not last long and is not very pigmented, when applies you can still see my natural lip color underneath. I give this 2.5 stars

Loreal lipstain gloss in Infinite Fuschia #187: This goes on really thin but dries to a semi matte. The color is gorgeous but I do not like the smell of it. I give this 3 stars.

Wet-N-Wild 3 eyeshadow palette in Cool As Cucumber 382B: I actually love this palette! For  only $2.49 it was a bargain. It goes on great and is really pigmented but you must use a primer, I would recommend Urban Decay for the price and quality 4.5 stars.

Wet-N-Wild single eyeshadow in Sugar/Sucre 250A: I also like this, it is not an everyday use but will be good to place in the corner of your eye for a quick highlight. I give this a 3.5 stars.


I have attached a video for your viewing. :D

Without Primer

With Primer

besitos,

Lisa

When your baby refuses the bottle...what every working mom should know.

With my first two children I supplemented. I did not exclusively breastfeed. I did more so with my second, my son Noah. I breastfed until I returned to work, however, he also received formula. If we went out he received formula or when I left home he also received formula. He received breastmilk while at home when we were together. Unfortunately, I did not get educated on lactation nor did I have the support that I needed. My son Noah has allergies and asthma which makes me wonder if I breastfed him instead, would he still have these health problems? Research suggests so many health benefits for breastfed infants. This time around with my last child I decided early on that I was going to breastfeed and pump once I return to work. 

During our hospital stay I requested a lactation consultant because I wanted to be successful and have all questions answered. She noticed that we had given our son a pacifier. The lactation consultant warned that nothing but the breast should be given until breastfeeding has been successfully established which is a minimum of 4 weeks, this would prevent nipple confusion and supply issues. She also recommended to hold off on the bottle and to pump 2 weeks prior to my return to work date. I listened to the expert advice and was very strict about it. 

Unfortunately, at 3 weeks postpartum I suffered an appendicitis and required surgery, thus, had to "pump and dump" and my son was forced to receive formula in a bottle. Initially my husband said he had trouble but then quickly took the bottle. We used the Similac Simply Smart bottle which I had purchased prior to my son's birth. Although I was determined to breastfeed I wanted a bottle that was good for both formula and breastfeeding. The bottle has a inbuilt mixer, does not leak, is shaped like the breast, BPA free and reduces colic. 

(Image Source: Cafemom)

Shortly after this episode I decided to buy a Medela pump so that I could store milk incase any other emergency happened. Formula did not agree with my son's digestive system. At around 5 weeks old my husband tried to give him a bottle but he didn't take it too well so I purchased 3 bottles from Amazon, the Comotomo, Adiri Nurser and Lansinoh mOmma.

Gabriel immediately took to the Lansinoh mOmma. Although it doesn't look like the breast, it feels like it to the baby because when your baby is latched, the nipple and areola are in the baby's mouth all together just like the Lansinoh bottle. Gabe was unable to latch to the other bottles.

(Image Source: Amazon.com)

From that point forward he received breastmilk in this bottle with no issues. I was finally able to leave the home! I was able to get things done but usually my husband would call me and tell me to come home to feed the baby, he didn't like to give him the bottle unless I was going to take a very long time (mistake #1). Gabe received the bottle about 1x per week. At 9 weeks old my husband and I decided to go out for dinner. My mother in law watched the kids and called us after 1.5 hours to let us know Gabe was crying and refusing the bottle. Perplexed, I naturally assumed she was doing something wrong. The next day my husband tried to give Gabe the bottle and sure enough he refused and that started our crazy bottle buying experience.

At 13 weeks old now here are some of the bottles we tried:

Similac Simply Smart, Lansinoah Momma, Adiri Nurser, Comotomo, Gerber Nuk, Born Free, Playtex Ventaire, Playtex Nurser Drop in, Tommee Tippee, Dr Brown, Mimijumi, The First Years Breast Flow, Avent, Medela Original, Medela Calma and I feel like im forgetting something?????

We even tried a finger feeder, doppler, syringe and sippy cups (Nuk and Playtex)

The Mimijumi is the one that we solely practice with now. It seems to be the only one that he does not gag on. At first the nipple was hard so I emailed the company and they sent me a softer one that they just changed. The bottle does tend to leak if not placed on correctly which can be hard to do. He is doing better , however, he is still not taking the bottle.

I have left the house for 6 hours and the only way for him to receive some milk is the syringe. I have extended my maternity leave by one week and will go back when he is 14.5 weeks old. Today he is 13 weeks old and although some progress has been made I wonder if he will ever take the bottle. Fortunately for me, our daycare is 5 minutes away so I will be able to nurse him on my lunch breaks, we will also try to start solids at 4 months old, which is right around the corner.

I had no idea that this was a possibility, that a baby would refuse a bottle. If you are planning to breastfeed and return to work, give a bottle every day from 4 weeks and on. Even if the baby will prefer the bottle over breast, it is better than to have your baby starve in daycare or to be stressed out like I am. The sucking reflex goes away from 6-12weeks old so introduce the bottle BEFORE this period. Sometimes I think nipple confusion is overrated! I wish you lots of luck with breastfeeding and if you have ANY questions, shoot. :)

Besitos
Lisa

Tarte Cosmetics: Smooth Operator Finishing Powder Review

You may have heard about Make Up Forever Brand HD finishing powder. I have wanted to try MUFE's HD powder for the longest! I have really oily skin that is acne prone. Since I breastfeed, I have real bad acne that is hormonal so for the time being I try to limit what I put on my face. A couple months back I found that MUFE had a "dupe", E.L.F. brand also makes a HD powder, I purchased it at Target for around $10. It's main component was silica and went on smooth, however, it did not combat my oil and shine and needed to be reapplied within 1-2 hours. On one of the perks to shopping at Sephora is being a member of their "Beauty Insider" program which is free. For every dollar you spend, you earn points which can be redeemed for certain products. Usually I pass on everything because nothing catches my eye until they had this Tarte finishing powder. I had never heard of this brand and after some minimal research, I had found it was created by an everyday woman, this excited me even more. It wasn't made by a big corporation, this woman used to create cosmetics from her own home, all natural! After trying this product, I can say I LOVE IT!!! I did not need to reapply like I did with the E.L.F. brand. A little goes a long way and it left my skin looking smooth. This is now a must have for me, it has decreased oil and gives me a matte and flawless look.

If you have big pores and oily skin, you will NOT regret this product. Here is a picture of my skin, I promise to get better at pictures. :)

Besitos
Lisa